PAGE ONE

12/02/02
Added silver Bluestreak, black Tracks.
08/10/02
Added Aran (x2), Artfire, Beachcomber, Blaster (Action Master), Bluestreak (E-Hobby), Boss, Brawn (Mexican), Bumblebee (Pretender), Cog, Cog (Grand), Cosmos, Esporte, Fizzle (x2), Gingham, Gran, Grimlock (beast mode), Hot House, Hot Rod (MicroMaster), Inferno (x2), JetDasher, Lionizer, Pincher (robot & shell), Rabbicrater, Repugnus (beast mode), Rescue Jet, Road Police, Saber, Six-Gun, Slag (x2), Slingshot, Spike, Splashdown (robot & shell), Suiken, TackerDash, Trailbreaker, Tread Bolt, Windcharger (x7!), Windmill. Changed the Euro-Tracks to Road Rage, moved one of the Gearses to the Deceps.
04/19/02
Added Freeway, Hubcap, Kirk (white), Salt-Man Z (yellow & blue). Moved Jet-kun to Kids' TF section.

No, I'm not made by Sega. This is a little number I like to call 'No Periphreal Vision'. For once... a reissue done RIGHT. Well, that's the second-most-horribly-colored fire truck in the line.... Yeah, when I think of the back streets, I always think of high-performance Porsche race cars. Wake 'n' bake, man. That's right. BIG DADDY. He OWNS you. This is dippy on many levels. At the VERY least they could just named him 'Black Rodimus'.... Interestingly enough, Action Master Blaster is not an Action Master Blaster in toy-type terminology... okay, so maybe it isn't interesting. Okay?! Look, F@#% YOU, ALLRIGHT?! F@#% YOU AND EVERYONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU!!! OK, I want a gaddam CONCERTED EFFORT to come out of a record that isn't a f***ing up-tempo record every time I do a goddam DEATH dedication! It's the LAST goddam time, I want somebody to use his F***IN' brain to not come out of a goddam record, that is, uhh, that's up-tempo an' I gotta talk about a f***in' DOG DYIN'! Don't we do it between every GODDAM RECORD THAT WE PLAY?! This is bulls***, nobody cares... these guys are from England and who GIVES a s***?! Na-na na-na na-na na-na BOSS MAN!. Gentlemen, calibrate your Badassometers (TM)... 'Brawn Gold'... sounds like a malt liquor. 'Gimme a quart of Brawn Gold and a pack of Marlboro Wheeljacks.' I give up. I'm sick of Minibot recolors. Dammit, stop lying. You're Cliffjumper. Stronger, faster, more annoying? At least 'Bumper' fits the car theme... 'Bumper Blue' sounds like a Sixties rock band. The new porn parody-comic from Antarctic Press, 'Gold Bumper'! For a dude who never got an official name, tech-spec or his own damn art, there's an awful lot of this guy. I have nothing funny to say in this caption. Okay, that's quite enough with the recolors, thank you, Antex.... Dammit, get Prince Valiant out of my skull. Did you just call me yellow? Could my vehicle modes suck any more? Kill the Grand Cog... Know you're never just a hat, you're never only just a hat, you know. He comes from France. No, this isn't obscure enough, dammit. There's medications for that. I'm so glad I stopped collecting minor variations BEFORE I found out about this one... I think these little guys should have rollerbladed around in the fictions. Rollerblading midget alien robots. That would ROCK. Function: Taxi. Spider-who? Not Swerve, but an incredible simulation. Burnin' Gears. I don't even know what ginham is, but my wife goes through like four rolls a week of that stuff... He goes on smooth. Sounds like a kind of muffin. MacGuffin, HEAD ON! From Badass to Dumbass back to Badass again. RRAAAAAAAAR I don't think he can walk. I think he waddles like Dick Van Dyke in 'Mary Poppins'. Runner-up in the 300-Meter Waddle. Dirty dirty whores! Oooh, 'Butt end of the galaxy'. Nice one. The only cool part of Star Convoy. New Crystal Rodimus with only one calorie. (Hey, it's either that or a Sailor Moon reference.)

PAGE TWO PAGE THREE

Original fonts by Neale Davidson.


Back to Transformers Mugshots

Artwork, page design, layout and background images by M Sipher.

This site is not intended to be an infringement on any of the copyrights and trademarks of any company whose products or characters are mentioned within its contents. This site is for entertainment purposes only, and is an entirely non-profit operation.